Thinking

I freaking love Bible School!! And that's not even sarcasm! The classes are all so wonderful and they all feed off of each other and I'm learning to be both open minded and critically minded and I'm learning more about myself and I'm growing closer with all the friends and having a lot of fun socializing, and everything is so interesting and even homework is fun and theological discussions are even more fun!


Megan and I were reading our theology text books last night, and then when Nicole came in we were talking about it and the reasons it gave for why Jesus came to earth as a man instead of as a woman. It took me off-guard because I guess I never even considered that God had the choice to make the human Jesus and male or female. I always just assumed that he would obviously be male because God is always referred to as male. And so when the book was explaining that because of the patriarchal society of the time, it just would not have worked if Jesus was female. Females were not respected at all and were definitely not allowed to teach. It also pointed out that Jesus came as a male, but he brought more equalization as he served women and humbled himself even though he was in a powerful male position. (He did the same thing as a Jew, serving the Gentiles and eating with the 'sinners'.)

For some reason at first I had trouble accepting the seemingly simple reason of why Jesus was not a female. My answer would have been of course he is a male, that's the way God is and the way God made it, and it seemed unfair to put that cultural reasoning into God's mind as to why Jesus came as a male. But then I realized that thought was verrry lazy (and too far to the post-modern side of the pendulum) of me. God is a God of reason. He is a God of logic and wisdom. Of course the cultural relevance of the time played a part into God's choice; life would not make sense without reasoning.

And then I realized that I was different than I used to be. I used to be a thinker. I used to be very logical and a very rational thinker. And I still am, but I guess when it comes to spirituality I started losing some of that. Just some, definitely not all; I will always be a thinker. Maybe it just depends on the topic and even sometimes the day. But, it made me wonder if it has something to do with my time of doubting and confusion in grade 10. I went through a somewhat normal time of 'owning my own faith' where nothing made sense and it was so hard to comprehend God.

I wonder if that time scared me from reasoning out my faith and made me more the type to just want to accept things as they are and not need it to make sense scientifically. I mean, there are most certainly areas of the faith that just do not have an answer and need to just be taken by faith. But a lot of areas have sound theological reasoning and very logical answers. The gospels are full of examples of Jesus urging his disciples to use their heads and put the pieces together. He didn't say to doubting Thomas, "Dude, there are no answers, just believe and have faith." He said, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

So, like with all things, there has to be a balance. A balance between rationalizing the faith, and just living in faith without needing reasons. Both are crucial.